Tag: Personal Development

3-2-1 and the 5-Minute Rule

A few days ago I listened to a talk of Hal Elrod. He talked about a concept he called the 5-minute rule. I found that the 5-minute rule is a perfect supplement to my own 3-2-1 rule. Both are straightforward but still very powerful rules you can quickly implement into your life, so I decided to share them with you here.

The 5-Minute Rule

In one of his talks, Hal Elrod introduced the five-minute rule. Hal was involved in a severe car accident where he died for a few minutes. When he found himself in intensive care with the worst possible injuries, he remembered the five-minute rule which he learned during his sales career.

Here is what the 5-minute rule says:

It is okay to be upset, angry, sad, or whatever negative emotion you are feeling. But it is only allowed to feel that way for maximum five minutes. So feel free to scream aloud but make sure to stop after 300 seconds.
After five minutes, you accept the reality as it is. You start giving all you can to improve the current situation. Hal had severe injuries. Instead of whining how bad his situation is, he decided to be the happiest guy in the hospital as he wasn’t going to change the current situation anyway.

The same can be applied to your life. If you feel stuck in a lousy situation, feel free to let out your negative emotions for five minutes. After five minutes are over, accept the situation and give all you can to reduce the harm of the circumstances.

3-2-1 Rule

I found that the 5-minute rule blends perfectly with my 3-2-1 rule. I started using the 3-2-1 rule after I read a similar concept in a book some years ago. If there is anything that upsets you, don’t immediately get angry. Instead, start counting down from 3 to 0. Loud or in your head: three, two, one, zero. While you are counting back, ask yourself if it is worth to feel upset, angry, mean or whatever you are about to feel. Usually, the answer is no, and you can resolve the situation calmly.

Here is a simple example; you are on the road, and another driver is challenging you into a race on the road. Instead of giving in, count from 3-0 and ask yourself if it is worth it. While you are counting – three, two, one, zero – ask yourself:

• Is it worth to accept this race even though I could die?
• Is it worth to accept this race even though the police may fine us?
• Is it worth to accept this race even though I may kill somebody?

You will quickly realize that it is not worth racing with a random guy on the street. Simply smile and keep the speed limit.

Implementing the 3-2-1 rule already avoided me a lot of headaches and countless arguments. Just ask yourself: Is it worth it?

Even though these are only two tiny exercises, I think if you implement them into your daily life, they can have a tremendous positive impact on you. Don’t let negativity win! Always think positive and remember that negativity is not worth it.

Photo by Luca Iaconelli on Unsplash

During the last months, I joined a group of four other passionate fellows to compete in an Accenture case competition. Our goal was not to compete but to win.

I felt overwhelmed during the last weeks. I was running a business, writing three exams, participating in a case competition, and preparing a few presentations. Last Friday I felt totally exhausted and I didn’t know what to work on or what to focus on. One thing was clear: I must have some time for myself in nature.

In Germany, there is a very good saying which says: Einmal ist keinmal. It is translated into English with once won’t hurt. But in my opinion, the German saying is expressing the same thing differently. A literal translation would be: Once is not once – but well, it sounds pretty strange in English and in the end the idea is the same.

However, I found out that this saying is completely wrong. Whether you say einmal ist keinmal or once won’t hurt. It’s wrong. I learned that it is a very harmful excuse for people to skip a good habit for a day.

Once Won’t Hurt is an Excuse for Losers

So when do you actually use the saying once won’t hurt? I realized that we use this saying to get our own permission to do something stupid. In other words: by acting according to this saying we are looking for an excuse to break a bad habit or to do something we know is wrong or even harmful.

In the last weeks, I acted like a loser. Now ask yourself why I acted like a loser. The answer is because I acted according to this harmful saying of once won’t hurt or einmal ist keinmal. Not once but even multiple times.

There was a day where I absolutely didn’t feel like writing nor blogging. I said to myself: “Marius, einmal ist keinmal. Before you write a shitty story today wait until tomorrow and you’ll write something more qualitative”.
Guess what I did the next day. Did I write a more qualitative blog post? No! I did not write a blog post at all! This small decision destroyed my habit of daily blogging (until today of course).

Then I had the plan to wake up earlier to find some time for my morning routine. It worked out great until recently. There was one evening where I realized that to continue my morning routine I would not get my desired 7-8 hours of sleep but rather 5 hours. I said to myself: “Marius, once won’t hurt”. WRONG! Skipping my habit once DID HURT the development of my habit. This small saying which told me that once won’t hurt literally hurt me developing a habit of waking up early.

In fact, I see many people which are acting according to this saying.
– I am on a diet. Well, it’s one cheeseburger. Once won’t hurt. WRONG
– I quit smoking but well, one cigarette. Once won’t hurt. WRONG
– I want to learn for my university course every day. Except for today, once won’t hurt. WRONG

In every scenario acting according to this saying hurts. The saying once won’t hurt is absolutely wrong – not because one cheeseburger or one cigarette is especially harmful – but because this attitude destroys your habit. I experienced it myself. If you skip it once, it is very likely that you will skip it another time and another time.

Once will hurt. Don’t skip your habit. Stay with it.

Presenting, public speaking, participating in discussions, and stating one’s own opinion is harder for some people than for others. I never had a problem to present my ideas in front of an audience. Public speaking has never been a problem for me. Many other people are desperately afraid to do all these things. While they might have a strong opinion about something they are not able to express it. They are tremendously intelligent but they cannot present their amazing ideas to team members, work associates, their boss or professor.