Often, we think about who we want to become in life. But thinking about who we wish to be, can distort us from being who we naturally were supposed to be.
This is because we imitate other people. Every day – wittingly or unwittingly – we are influenced by people who are close to us: family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and so on. Moreover, people we follow online also heavily influence who we wish to be.
To quit this rat race, it is powerful to think about who we absolutely – under no circumstances – never want to become.
One helpful hint is listen to your gut. Remember and note when you meet someone and immediately think: “oh god, I never want to become like this!”.
For example, your father is a very heavy drinker. Either you are disgusted by this behavior, that you already know that you never want to become like this.
Every so often, this is not enough, as some people unconsciously imitate their father’s behavior and become alcoholics themselves.
Therefore, before you can ask yourself the question “Who do I – under no circumstance – never want to be?” you have to start observing and questioning the people you are surrounded by and the people you are following online.
By actively observing people, you’ll realize how they treat other people, what and how many bad habits they have, and many other things you dislike about them. For example, you might quickly realize that:
- you never want to become an alcoholic,
- you never want to neglect your family for super success,
- you never want to live an average life,
- you never want to be dishonest,
or whatever it might be.
We also need to pay attention to whom we follow online and question whether we really want to be like them. Whether it is a successful entrepreneur, world-class athlete, a popular ‘creator’, or a perfect mother. Who we look up to influences who we think we want to be. Influencers aren’t called influencers for nothing!
This is hard because social media is showing us only the bright side.
So, ask yourself: Which sacrifices do I need to make to have a life like this? Am I willing to make these sacrifices? What aspects do I never want to incorporate into my life?
Observing people will show us who we don’t want to become. Question people’s lives and behaviors and set clear boundaries of who you never want to become.
If we do everything we can, to avoid becoming who we don’t want to be, we will naturally find ourselves as a person we desire to be.